I Was a Teen Mom

Posted on: June 15, 2015 | Parenting

I moved out at 18 into my own apartment, but a year later when my lease was up I moved back home.  A lot happened in that year, including meeting my bestest friend and love of my life.  I hadn’t been living back home for even a month when I got the biggest surprise of my life!

I was pregnant…I know because the 2 home pregnancy tests I took in a gas station bathroom and the blood test I had done at a lab told me so.

The next 9 months flew by.  My boyfriend became my fiancé and we found a place of our own to buy and then fix up.  We planned a wedding, had a baby shower, and took a childbirth class at the local hospital.  I was as prepared for this baby as one could be, or so I thought.

My mom is a huge weenie, I am talking cries if she is tickled.  I grew up having to be tough.  So when she told me she had all 3 of her births unmedicated I just knew I could also.  I mean if she can, it must be easy right?

I woke up on a Wednesday morning in April to get ready for work and kept having pains.  I called my mom to ask what contractions feel like and she timed my cringes while we talked.  We decided to head to the hospital, call my dad and our jobs, and oh yeah, maybe we should pack a bag now.  Arriving at the hospital, put in triage to make sure I really am in active labor, and finally getting put into a room. This is where it all went downhill.

I was told by my doctor that I would for sure have this baby by noon, I was told by a nurse that they had a record number of women having babies (the local newspaper came out to take pictures), both of which should have been warnings to me.  My doctor set me up for disappointment in myself when I did NOT have my baby by noon.  The nursing staff was overworked due to the high volume of patients and I felt pressured to not only have my baby quickly so they could turn over my room, but also to do so quietly.  I was a naïve 19 year old girl who thought I knew everything, what I didn’t know was what a doula was and how much I needed one.

My mom and fiancé were with me through it all, but they didn’t know either.  My instincts told me I needed to be up moving around, it was more comfortable, but a very pushy nurse told me I had to stay in bed unless using the bathroom.  The media told me I had to be loud, but that upset the nurses because I was “scaring the other patients”.  After being harassed relentlessly to get an epidural by this same nurse, I finally consented.  I felt defeated.  It was past the time I thought I would be holding my son and I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was.  Of course, when I did consent, the anesthesiologist was busy with all these other laboring women and the now friendly nurse offered something to “quiet me down” and when it didn’t take effect quickly enough, she gave me another dose…of Demerol…2 doses in less than 20 minutes.

The rest of my labor was a blur.  I was not present.

I remember talking with my fiancé, I would blink, and it would be my dad standing there.  Confused, I would blink again to see my mom.  At some point I was asked if EMT students could witness my birth in order to become certified.  I agreed with no hesitation, much to my family’s surprise.  I am usually very modest.

I was told it was time to push with these contractions, but I couldn’t feel them.  I was told they would turn the epidural off so I would know when to push.  Um, no thank you!  You now have me terrified of this awful pain I would be in had I not had this miracle drug.  I watched the EFM (electronic fetal monitor) and pushed when it told me I was contracting.  I gave birth to a healthy little boy and thought that was all that mattered.

This birth taught me many important things.

Education, the hospital class we took met 4 times for around an hour each time.  Education is important, the more you have the better informed choices you can make.  Having an epidural is fine, if that is the choice you make.  In my case the choice was made for me and I was not properly informed on the matter to know the possible side effects of either of the drugs I was administered.  I also was not aware of the different options I have during labor and after.

Support, I learned that while my mom and fiancé wanted the best for me and provided the best support they could, I needed more.  I would have benefited from a knowledgeable support person who would remind me why I wanted to avoid the medication, who would have recommendations on positions and techniques to use for comfort, who would have encouraged me and helped me to remain confident in myself.  I needed a doula and didn’t even know it.

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