Why Can’t You Just Be Happy?
Posted on: February 1, 2016 | Doula
Recently, someone I am close to found out their girlfriend was expecting. They have been together for 3 years, are in their early 20’s, and own a home together. He proposed and she said yes! This should be one of the happiest times in their lives.
It should be…
He very timidly went to tell his parents about the upcoming proposal and that they had a new grandchild on the way. When asked why his girlfriend wasn’t there to tell as well, he said because she knew they would react badly and she can’t understand why people can’t just be happy for others.
This got me thinking about my pregnancies. I was 19 when I found out I was expecting my first. When I told my mom, I left my boyfriend in the car. I asked my mom outside, said “Well grandma…” Her reaction was tears, and “No, no, no, you aren’t serious”, etc. With every subsequent pregnancy we got the following reactions, and more.
Was this planned?
Do you know what causes that?
You’re done now right?
You don’t want any more do you?
You have your hands full!!
I never got to experience those awesome Pinterest announcements. I never will. Although my family loves my children, I also have no expectations about how they would feel if we were to choose to have more. My husband and I have even talked about not sharing the news at all if we ever are expecting again and only telling people if they ask.
Isn’t that sad? Isn’t it sad our own families wouldn’t rejoice with us?
Why can’t you just be happy? It is not your body, not your issue. Why can’t you just be happy?
I am so excited for the couple and disappointed at the same time. I am not disappointed for the reason you might assume though. I am disappointed that they are going to experience so much of what I did. This first pregnancy they announced quietly, with no fanfare, no big gesture. I was told over the phone (probably because they were afraid to tell me in person.) All future kids of theirs, if there are any, will likely get many of the same comments I got, or they will think because it is their second, third, etc that they shouldn’t make a big deal.
I am excited! I am thrilled! I am happy for you!
I got a TON of excitement when I first got pregnant. A TON. When I lost my Poppy at 12 weeks, I got a lot of “You shouldn’t have told everyone.” and “You should have waited until after the first trimester.”
When I got pregnant again 3 months later, I waited 10 days before telling my mom and her reaction was “You should wait to tell everyone this time.” No tears, no excitement. No congratulations even.
Every baby should be celebrated. Congratulations to your friend and their bundle of joy on the way!! And congratulations on their engagement!! This world has gotten too focused on negativity. I choose positivity and happiness! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!
I am so sorry at the reactions you received as well. Thanks so much!!